Be a BADASS!

Magazines, Television, Books, Articles, and even your favorite celebrity will have you pulling out your hair to believe the “LIE”. The lie that has been spreading like an epidemic. The “LIE” is that physical perfection can be achieved if you look like this or eat this, or tuck that. If you do not, then you deserve to be ostracized, and degraded.

We live in a world that tells us that there is a mold, and everyone must fit into it in order to be praised. People lie everyday about how they really look for the purpose of looking like someone else. With cosmetic surgeries, cosmetic injections, photoshop, etc, its no wonder why we struggle occasionally, for some all the time, with low self-esteem, low self-worth, and negative thoughts about our selves.

Being a BADASS means being your own image. It means you gave society  the “finger” and told it to sit on it! To be a BADASS, it is going to take attitude, determination, and ambition. Want to be a BADASS? Follow these steps.

1. Skip The Flaws

Staying trapped in a constant flow of “I don’t have what she has”, “I can’t be that person”, “I can never do what she can”, is not doing you any favors is it? Focusing on everything that you feel is a negative about you, keeps you weighted down and never accomplishing much. What you think becomes what you believe, which becomes how you act. So unpack the baggage of your life and past. You lived it. You survived. Now, move forward to happier endeavors.

Cut the CRAP (stereotypes)! We place others into nice, little boxes. The boxes are oversimplified assumptions. Ever heard the saying about assuming? It makes an ass out of “u”. When you believe the hype about stereotypes and treat people accordingly, you find the moment YOU fit into the box you treat yourself the same way. Don’t believe me?? What are your thoughts about someone overweight? Or, about someone who you think is not attractive? Again, cut the CRAP!

Be aware of what makes you tick. Decide if it is something you can actually change, proceed to grow, and the rest “FORGET ABOUT IT!”

2. Map out Who You Are

Do you know who you are? Not the superficial BS like “I have an amazing smile and I came from good stock.” I’m talking who are you? You want people to respect you, love you, be proud of you, but you don’t even know yourself. Being BADASS also means you are not afraid to dig deep, and ask your self those thought provoking questions. What are my gifts, talents, and skills? What makes me smile? What makes me angry? What gets me out of bed everyday? What do I dream about? How and what do I want to be remembered for? What features, physically and internally, do I LOVE about myself?

3. Tell the world “F” You

I once read confidence was knowing your self worth. Once you know who you are, own it! You are you, and you were are beautifully made. You are perfectly imperfect. No one can be YOU better than YOU. Now that you are owning your gifts, talents, and skills, share them with the world! If you are good at something, share it with someone who could benefit from it . They get joy of having access to you, because you solved a problem, or became an answer to what they wanted. In the meantime, you are getting better at what you do, and you feel great because you are doing something bigger than yourself.

The world as a whole does not like for people to be individuals. When you live your life leading with what you are uniquely great at, others will natural try to make you stop. As a whole, society wants everyone be the same. It’s only when the person who chose to be an individual succeeded in a way that no one can dispute it, is when they are praised. However, along the way they were called crazy and laughed at for trying to live differently.

Tell the world you are here and you will live your way. You need to do everything you can to showcase you talents, skills, gifts, and even you positive attributes everyday. Doing this causes your mind to shift in a positive direction. It goes from saying what you can’t do and don’t have, to what I can do, what I do have, and what I can do for you. BEWARE: living life in a more positive mindset can begin to cause feelings of  BADASS-ism!

4. Gain Strength

Put your workout clothes on! Never in my life have felt more like a BADASS as when I am covered in sweat. Working out releases endorphins into your blood stream that causes “happy” feelings. Think about how BADASS you would feel if you chased that “happy” feeling 3-4 times a week like you do a sale at your favorite store.

Get an attitude! When someone tells you to stop using your skills or go back to conformity, look them in the eye and ask them why. Why, should  I stop? Why do you even care? Then proceed to say “thank you for your concern, but I got this!”

5. Take It To A Higher Level

Life can be a vicious cycle. You need to identify people, places, and things that are a source of negativity, and decide to keep it or let it go. Not going to certain places and throwing away things are easier than letting go people. Consider this: Everyone has the right to change and grow. Before you start back kicking people from your life, give them them the opportunity to grow with you. Tell them about your new found BADASS title and your NO tolerance zone for negative thinking and words. If they are down, YAY! If not, YOU have a decision to make.

Don’t forget! You can not expect things to change around you until you change. Elevating your standards means taking the standards you hold yourself to another level as well. If you don’t like where you live, what you drive, or even what you own, do you constantly dwell on it? Law of Attraction states you must ALWAYS be in a state of gratefulness BEFORE you can expect something new to come your way. What is the state of your home? Do you use sheets are drapes? Could your bedroom pass as your closet? Why don’t you like your ride? Do you wash and vacuum it every week? Does it look like you are moving with all the stuff you have in it? Change always starts with you.

You want to be BADASS? Then be BADASS!

xoxoooox Alicia

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Alicia is a Confidence Coach. She helps career driven women be more successful by offering services designed to strengthen confidence and self-worth. Her life mission is to help every woman feel BOLDER, DEEPER, and HAPPIER!

You Are Beautiful: The Love Letter

Dear You,

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Believe me when I tell you. True beauty comes from your smile, your kindness towards others, your laughter, accomplishing your goals, and living your dreams.

Deep down you want be the woman who has inner peace so deep it’s manifested in everything you do.

Many women struggle with body image and self-doubt, and don’t even know it. As women, we are quick to believe we are not enough while others have everything. Society will tell you that you deserve to be mocked, ignored, and made to feel inferior if you don’t have the perfect hair, smile, shape, weight, man, friends, car, clothes, job, image.  

SPOILER: Only 5% of women naturally have the body type image displayed in the media. That means 95% of women DON’T look like the image on the screen and magazines. (found on dosomething.org)

{PSA: Quit looking at HER}
Why would you want to be like anyone else? All the time you spend in the mirror dreaming of looking like, acting like, or having what someone else has, you COULD have been LIVING in your best moments. QUIT looking at HER and just Be Your Own Image

xoxo, Alicia

How do you spell confidence????

How do you spell confidence? I spell it Alicia or sometimes GOD or even friends or even family. Where does confidence come from? I took a professional entrepreneur quiz one day to see what skills I already have. The test says that all great and successful entrepreneur have and exercise 10 key traits at any given time. Some of them were relationship building, knowledge seeker, risk taker, confidence, focus, determination, and 3 more (that I can not remember right now). The crazy part about this were my results. I was strong in risk taking and knowledge seeking, but was low in all other skills. My first reaction was to be down and sad. However I kept reading the profile, and it said that you take the skills that you are strong in, master them or make them even stronger. Then you use them to make your weaknesses stronger.  So obviously, I was low in confidence, determination, and etc.  What can I do, I thought? I have dreams and aspirations of NOT working for someone else the rest of my life. But if I lack the confidence that it takes to accomplish my dreams, what can I do? Well, I finished reading the profile, all the definitions of all the traits, and what a person looks like who is strong in those traits. Plus, I read what someone looks like when they are low in those traits.

I found that the profile says that a person who is weak in confidence is only weak because they have not received validation in what they are doing. WHOA BUDDY, WHAT?? So I read that part again. I let it bounce around in my mind, and I slowly came to a realization. That it was TOTALLY true! (Stay with me here) Think about it. If you want to start a new hobby, learn a new skill, or try a new style, you are looking for validation that you are doing something right. Now, each of us is different and validation looks different to each person. There are many people who have a natural or have learned to live off of self validation. (OMG YOU are AMAZING!) However, there are just as many people who seek outside validation. I am one of those people. In the workplace I seek feedback from peers and upper management on my work performance so I can get stronger in work skills. If this is the case, why can I not view self confidence the same way?

Now there is a balance to this. (like in ALL things) You can not allow others to dictate who you are. However, having positive feedback or having someone have more faith in your abilities than you have right now goes a long way into driving you into accomplishing great things. Self-confidence is, in its simplest concept, self-trust. You internally trust and believe in you and/or your gifts and talents. Or you trust in your ability to master or accomplish something. This can include writing skills, paitning skills, speaking skills, how you put outfits together, how you encourage other people, or whatever.

For me my confidence comes in trusting myself to know that even though I may not be great at something, I trust myself to figure out how to make it happen not matter how slowly the process may be…..

CHEERS!